SUPPORT GROUP FOR CARERS AND THE BEREAVED

INTRODUCTION

The loss of a loved one is life’s most stressful event. When coping with bereavement and grief, people frequently experience a wide range of emotions, even when the death may have been expected. There is no real order to the grieving process and the feelings and emotions that you experience may range from denial and disbelief to anger, despair, shock and guilt.

These feelings are normal and are common reactions to loss. People are seldom prepared for the intensity and duration of these emotions or how swiftly their moods can change. People often say they feel like “they are losing their mind”- they question their mental stability. These feelings are natural, and it is common to feel like this. It is part of the grieving process.

Your grief will be expressed physically, emotionally and psychologically. Time is important, in that you must allow yourself the time to express these emotions. Death is a subject that is frequently avoided, ignored or denied. Sometimes people try to separate themselves from the pain, but grieving cannot be avoided forever. There are often physical symptoms that accompany grief, sleep disturbances, loss of weight, and loss of energy to name a few. Existing illnesses may become worse or new conditions / ailments may develop.

It seems to be part of the philosophy of our times that our health and well-being are our responsibilities. This leads people to believe that everyone should be able to cope with their own bereavement, “a stiff upper lip”! This is not always possible, especially when you want to talk about your pain, your grief and the insurmountable sadness that you feel. It is difficult at times to talk to your family or friends as they have their own pain and grief to deal with. Sometimes you may feel that people don’t want to listen to you; that they have their own lives to get on with. You don’t want to be seen as a burden to others. It also seems at times that you are saying the same thing all the time, talking about your pain and your sadness.This is not unusual and occasionally talking to strangers helps more, especially strangers that understand your loss. For some people it is difficult to maintain friendships once one partner has died.  You are no longer a couple and it is more difficult to socialize

THE AIMS OF OUR GROUP

• To provide support to bereaved persons and those  with a partner who is suffering from a terminal illness.
• To ensure no one is alone.
• To ensure there is always someone to turn to.  Someone to talk to or someone to have a chat and coffee with
• To direct people towards expert help and advice where required.
• To build a `Resource Centre´ of information and advice.

No matter how much you love someone, once you become a full time carer there is still a need for a break, even if that break entails merely walking around the market or meeting a friend for a coffee.  Wouldn’t it be nice to do that without the worry of ´what if something happens whilst I am not there?´

HOW IT WILL WORK

In order to achieve our aims we need to build up a network of friends who can confide in each other and be there for each other. Some people have experience of actual bereavement or long term caring situations; others may have experience of helping others, either in a professional or non-professional capacity. We are NOT a professional counseling service. We do have the services of Duncan Burr our Branch Chaplain

If you feel you are in need of help, or can offer help and support in any way, however small please contact myself on 646 94 67 94

Marianne Pearce - Welfare Coordinator